Pozi-vibez

I think some terms that are commonly used to describe people like me are: bummer, grouch, grump, curmudgeon, cynic, Debbie Downer, drag, sad sack, killjoy, and huge pain in the ass. And people like me know we?re not your favorite. ?WHY do you have to be so NEGATIVE all the time?!? you will implore us. But I ask you: what is really so terrible about being critical? Why is it acceptable to see the bright side of everything, but socially unacceptable to expect the worst? Why do people treat people like me like we?re a problem that needs to be fixed?

All pessimists are regarded this way, but especially women and girls. Females like us are routinely called bitches (which in my experience tends to translate as ?Oh shit, there she goes expressing her opinion again?). Our society constantly proves that it has no idea what to do with women who are not smiling and nodding; please see. Think of any time someone randomly told you to ?Smile!!!? because your scowling lady face was clearly messing up their entire day. We place a pretty high premium on girls? being approachable, and deviating from that path can land you deep in the Forest of Bitch, like it or not.

Because of all the forces that work to hurt girls? confidence, we?re already less likely than boys, in general, to voice our opinions. When those opinions are contrary to those of most of the people around us, it?s even harder?people will try to get us to fall in line with the majority, or, failing that, to shut up altogether. Sadly, this often works, because it?s really uncomfortable to be put on the spot. It can take just one time to make you feel terrible about speaking up, and to discourage you from ever trying it again.

Take, for example, the time I raised my hand in last year to disagree with my teacher?s opinions about the Gulf War. One of my classmates told me that I was ?stupid, and should shut up.? I never challenged that teacher again, and I never talked in any future class I had with that student.

(Let me take a minute to say that I think it?s totally OK to call someone out in class or anywhere else if the opinion they?re expressing is racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, misogynist, ableist, ageist, or otherwise bigoted about groups of people?i.e., hateful toward people as opposed to challenging people?s ideas.)

I spent the rest of sophomore year stifling my opinions. My friends who have graduated tell me that college is completely different. When someone challenges a statement made by a professor or a classmate, they're not shot down?their contribution leads to more talking. Hearing this this encouraged me to try speaking up again, and it felt really good to engage in discussions and disagreements freely, without worrying about whether I said the ?wrong? thing. I realized that I?d rather talk and risk going against the grain, than be silent about things that mattered to me or let people assume that I agreed with them when I absolutely did not.

Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/RolePlayGateway/~3/x24740y0VlA/viewtopic.php

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